Taking a hike

I seem to have bitten off more than I can chew recently. I've been flogging myself to get a number of things done, and am ahead in some things but only breaking even in others. Thats ok though, things are on track.

I made an attempt to go out last night....a few of us went to see the latest Harry Potter. (Because we are grown ups. Yes). It was called off when we saw 1) the queue and 2) the looks in the eyes of the people queuing. And this is a small town. Scary. I might catch it on DVD.

Today, rather than dwell on "to do" lists and feel overwhelmed, I went bush walking with a friend. I'm really glad I did. It didn't help me get anything done apart from a bit of exercise, but clearing my head and getting out will probably make me more efficient as I dive back into it.

It is too often the case that you miss what is in your own backyard and see more in other people's. I do much more sightseeing when I have visitors than when I am kicking around in my regular routine. This probably won't surprise anyone who knows me in real life, but I was a complete bookworm when I was a kid. My father used to say that anyone who asked me what I had seen of Australia so far would get a synopsis of my current favourite author. Obviously you have to read a bit for medicine, and I don't resent it at all, but sometimes I feel that what I am seeing of the beautiful area I am living in at the moment is Davidson's, Cadogan's, Murtagh, the OHCM and friends (great though they are).

If I leave at the end of the year I don't want to feel that I have missed out on seeing things around here. There are plenty of other reasons to come back and visit (or to stick around next year, if things work out that way).

I'm interested to see what happens in the next two weeks.

While that machine goes beep

I like drinking coffee and being generally subversive. Sudoku I don’t know about – it looks like something I would like a little bit too much, so I’ve been avoiding it for over 4 years so that I don’t Lose Everything.

Picture Credit: Cartoonstock.

So yeah, anaesthetics and ICU/HDU are great. I’m learning so much, practical and knowledge wise. With the whole impending “er, going to be a doctor soon” thing, it is really good to get heaps of practice on managing airways in a controlled environment, along with everything else.

I love how confident they are with situations that could be really scary. I know that comes with many years of experience and lots of hard work, but its definitely something to aspire to. I’m being taught by people who really know their stuff, and its pretty awesome.

At some point I may get round to uploading a few posts I wrote while on GP when I had less internet and more time (but not much more), but I should get back to studying propofol infusion syndrome. Still haven't found a list of indications for propofol that include "sleep aid", but I wasn't expecting to.

Imminent

Credit: Southern Illinois University Carbondale

Several things have happened this year.

• I applied for a job. I applied for a job where I currently am, and in other places. My referees were very kind and helpful as were all the people I talked to in various medical staffing units. I think they are used to dealing with the neuroticism of medical students applying for jobs and emailing them about applications ridiculously early in the year with questions...
  
• I put in my tax return. The 10 minute tax return comes with being a single, childless subthreshold income earner with no assets (yay!!) It might not be quite as short next year though. I don't expect to pick up any great assets next year, but I will be over the tax threshold. I had better be anyway. There are a lot of people applying for jobs though....
  
• I changed my phone over to prepaid this week, because my NextG contract finished about a month before when I "should" know where I am going to live next year, including the city vs country aspect (relevant to pricey NextG plans). I might just hold out and get an iPhone or similar after I have a junior doctorly pay sitting in my bank account in 6 months. (Not that I'm counting).
  
• I've been trying to prepare for a move all year. Not so much in going round hugging people (well, not all the time), but more in terms of the sorting and decluttering that happens every time you move house (or flat) and wish you had done earlier. Even if I end up moving just a street or so over.
• I give up on trying to make a runner of myself and go back to swimming and gymming. (Yes, that rhymes).
  
• Other blogs have closed up shop, while others have started. The life cycle thing. I consider what I will do.
  
• Scrubs finished. Personally, I think they should have wrapped it up a few seasons early, but that is just me. It really did feel like the end of an era. I am unmoved by All Saints finishing, because I never watched it. I watched Scrubs well before I got into medicine, and still watch reruns. It certainly resonated more than Greys ever did.
  
• It starts hitting me reasonably early in the year that the next time I do certain things, it will be as a doctor. Mixed feelings. Mostly good, but also, once it hits you, you really focus on the imminence of it. It has been interesting to see how people change focus to "I need to learn this for intern year" as opposed to "this will be useful in the nebulous, difficult to visualise future when I am a doctor".
  
• I talk to friends who are first year out or beyond. Get much advice, encouragement, and yes, lots of admonitions to "stay in medical school, where it is safe". And to enjoy life, before all that responsibility comes crashing down. And to make them cups of coffee at every opportunity.
  
• I am not Colin Hay and am not waiting for my real life to begin (I first heard this song on Scrubs). But change is imminent. And exciting, and possibly a bit scary. Possibly anti climactic. And things may stay the same, the more they change. And there is probably some sort of metaphor for life in there.
• I look forward to the next step. Whatever it is.
  

Death and taxes

The latest financial year has ticked over and students everywhere line up like music groupies buying tickets outside newsagents to get their tax packs, or download them. (No? Not everyone? Just me then).



Blogs have been started, ended, retreated into "invite only land" or just died. I've been having thoughts myself about whether at some point over the next few months I continue, go "invite only" or just stop (+/- deleting).

Reading: The Lucifer Effect. None of the statements made have surprised me so far, but I've been thinking around the topic a fair amount recently, and reading a few books about humanitarian and medical aid in genocide and disasters, and my fiction reading has somehow coincided with this a bit. The first 200 pages have been pretty good. Most people who have studied psychology, medicine or similar have heard about the Stanford Prison Experiment and the obedience experiments, and it is interesting to read Zimbardo's perspective.

Tu-Whit, Tu-Whoo

So now I have twitter. I'm "theanisoptera" (other options were spoken for). For what its worth (probably not much but you have to commit to some time zone at some stage), I'm "in Tehran".

Reading: Purple Hibiscus. Yay for second hand stores that sell good books cheaply. Probably because it was in the high part of town and was making plenty of money from the preloved Jimmy Choo's and Manolos. On the title page someone has signed "Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie". Who knows, it might even be her. I haven't bought a new (non text) book for myself for about 18 months, and get by extremely well with (mostly) ye local public library, borrowing from friends and second hand deals. As in, $3.50. I read so much and so fast that it would just cost too much to keep me in reading material if I bought them all the time. Maybe I should try reading books not written in English like Sara.
...
Yesterday was mother-daughter bonding in the Botanical gardens with a book. Today sisterly bonding with a $12 all you can eat meal at a tandoori house.

Bring your own linen

I'm on holiday with my family right now, who I haven't seen since January. I am pretty used to seeing them only twice a year or so (generally my sister only once a year), but I've been away from home for 9 years. They have moved several times since then, once to a house on the other side of the street, but other times a bit further. We don't see each other as much as some families do, but we keep in pretty close contact. We Skype, SMS or email every day (and my mother updates her Facebook a lot more than I do). It would be nice if I didn't have to bring my laptop and work with me, but you can't have everything.

They are in a 2 bedroom apartment, and took very little, leaving everything else in storage, or with me, for me to move at the end of the year. (Er, great). It turns out they didn't even take enough sheets for guests, so I am taking some with me. The plan was to put me on a blow up mattress in the storage cupboard. Until my sister pointed out that it sounded very Harry Potter (Number 4 Privet Drive, cupboard under the stairs). Maybe that is a hint to finish university ASAP and get a job (I'm working on it)? It turns out that the borrowed mattress is too big for the cupboard so I get to take up the living room instead.

(This photo is not me. Surprise!)

I bought with me birthday presents for two of them, both bought online. What did I do before my visa debit?

...

Job applications are under control. Unless I have overlooked something, with my spreadsheet and summarised lists and iCal guides to job applications. (If I had printed any of those I completely would have used postit notes and flags. Possibly even colour coded. So it is probably a good thing that I didn't).

I try to avoid unnecessary stress in my life. I am possibly frustrating all the well meaning and genuinely interested people who ask me about it with the same answers I give to the people who seem to want me to show visible stress (in the form of a meltdown) to prove that I am not directionless or flippant about my future. These range from "yes, I am also excited and interested to see where I end up next year, thanks for the good wishes" to "it is very hard to know exactly what will happen but I have applied to a number of places so the only thing certain is that I will be working somewhere in Australia and will probably know before mid August". I have so far refrained from mentioning a back up plan of joining the circus or becoming a street mime, but the next time someone says "but honestly, I would be SOOO stressed out if I was you".....I just might.
I would be lying if I said I was completely not fussed about the whole process, but I have tried to be as organised as possible about it and kept my options open, so we shall see what happens.

(This photo will probably not be me. I think).
...

In the meantime I am enjoying the family togetherness and big town things. Where I am normally I am a hop skip and a jump from a farm. Here there is public transport, 2 delis (I have discovered quark which I now love with the fire of a thousand suns), a spice shop and a whole food store within the same radius. It is nice to have a bit of both. This includes things that I don't get to experience every week - museums, fresh bagels, people watching on public transport, public transport in general, more little dogs (sometimes carried in handbags) than larger working type dogs, and multiple bookstores.
Holidays are good, even short ones.

Digital Revolution

I am a bit of a news junkie (as opposed to an ACA or TT junkie *shudders*), and have been following the election in Iran with interest.

Mashable had this post with lots of media sources (in English) for information about what is happening. The Beeb has had quite a lot of good stuff (as do lots of others).
Twitter, Wikipedia, Flickr, blogs, Youtube (I'm sure that I'm behind the times and have missed a few).
We have come a long way since runners, carrier pigeons and smoke signals.

Medical Quote of the Day # 17

GP: So, you would have really seen today how sometimes we have runs of similar cases.
Me: Yes, for sure. Today certainly was Haemorrhoid Wednesday.
GP: It certainly was. You know....we normally have to blame the student when things like this happen. But I just don't know how you could be responsible for this. *smiles*
Me: *Struggles to find a reply. Is distracted by laughing*

Trial of a WhiteCoat

WhiteCoat is posting an interesting series on a malpractice trial that he was on the wrong side of...at some point in the past.
Blogging about medicine can raise issues, blogging about your own trial certainly does (see also: Dr Flea, no longer blogging), this raised a lot of concern until WhiteCoat said it was all in the past (and thus exempt from HIPAA as it is on public record).

Whether you agree with it being blogged or not (or the issues around it), it makes for interesting reading.

Two notable quotes:

"Medical malpractice is a game where neither side wins. On one side,
patients suffer bad outcomes - some due to medical negligence, some not. On the
other side, an accusation of medical malpractice cuts to the soul of any medical
provider.....It isn’t a matter of who wins in a lawsuit, it’s a matter of who loses least."

"The story I will tell is a story that needs to be told. I’m past it now.
I’ve licked my wounds and they are healed. It isn’t about me any more. It’s
about every other health care professional who has been on the receiving end of
a summons who doesn’t know what to feel and who doesn’t know where to turn. You
aren’t a bad person. Even if you made an error, you’re human. Sometimes I wish
patients could understand that more".

Grand Rounds 5:37

Grand Rounds is up at Health Blawg.
Bongi talks about being thrown in the deep end with a submandibular gland excision.
T. talks about preconcieved notions people about (particularly female) doctors. The comments have already gone into an interesting discussion about this.
Barbara Olson talks about being first responder to a medical emergency mid flight (MedScape, so you have to log in).
A review of the psychosocial aspects* of epilepsy.
Doc Gurley on the balance between cardioprotection and protecting the gut mucosa in Name Your Poison.

Grand Rounds 5:38 at The Jobbing Doctor, next week.

*(yes, i've been doing assignments and breaking out that word a lot recently)